HIV

In response to:2 Weeks On

2007-11-28T11:34:24+01:00

Stay positive, you sound as if you're strong and sensible about this. I have lived through this 3 month period and know the range of emotions you must be feeling. Hang in there!

In response to:My First Post

2007-11-27T18:31:11+01:00

Hi

I work for a Radio 4 programme which is looking to mark World Aids Day on December 1st with a feature inspired by content found on-line.

I was alerted to your site by a colleague at the BBC who is HIV positive.

We'd like to talk to you about your blog. During the recording, you can remain anonymous if you wish. Please contact me at ipm {at} bbc.co.uk

Regards

Marc Settle

In response to:My First Post

2007-11-22T16:17:45+01:00

I can't develop an irrational fear of HIV or now live a life of misstrust. But at the same time I have to learn my lessons. In the future, I wont have unprotected sex in a monogomous relationship. And, as part of being sexually healthy I will go to the clinic for testing with my new partner. It's hardly something to mention on the first date! But maybe after a month it is something to be done.

Speaking to my ex, his new boyfriend had a similar situation. After 4 weeks of being with someone he insisted that they both be tested and the person found out that he was HIV +ve.

I am trying not to see this in terms of being a 'gay' thing. A straight man could do exactly the same to a girlfriend, possibly after a stag trip to Amsterdam or Prague, or even a 'blokes holiday' to Thailand, after being naughty with a prostitute or something. I am only using examples of some of the things my brothers friends get up to!

In response to:My First Post

2007-11-22T12:48:52+01:00

I still think that you are increadible. Last night I spent a lot of time talking about you with my wife.
How would you 'frog march' someone in a new relationship to a clinic - although the risk is so great, how can you afford not too! Its a horrible paradox. You want to base a relationship on trust and love, yet you want to check up on them just in case.

I still feel defensive on your count. Yes, I know you have to take some responsibility, but what a crusher!

Matthew.

In response to:My First Post

2007-11-22T11:19:06+01:00

Anger is such an easy emotion to feel, but just so consuming. The nurse asked me how I felt and I said that I was angry. And she said that there was no right or wrong way to feel.

If I was +ve then I would be really angry. I am angry deep down, but I'm trying my best not to show it. Perhaps feeling overtly angry would make me feel worse, as it could be entrenched as bitterness and I will never get over it.

Now I have had time to reflect, I guess that I have to accept that someone's word is not good enough. I should have frog marched him to the clinic for testing first, but I didn't. Anyhow, that counts for nothing if someone cheats on you and takes risks.

I have to accept some personal responsibility, I guess.

In response to:My First Post

2007-11-21T19:05:52+01:00

What a roller coaster! I think you are being very reasonable about this whole thing. I can't help but be furious for you on account of a lie!
You're a much better person than most.

In response to:My First Post

2007-11-19T23:38:30+01:00

Thanks for your comments.

x

In response to:The Clinic

2007-11-19T23:37:17+01:00

Thanks

In response to:The Clinic

2007-11-19T23:33:09+01:00

*hugs* hope it's all clear. Best of luck :)

In response to:My First Post

2007-11-17T17:58:17+01:00

wow, i don't know what to say. i feel speechless, from writing a blog about breaking up with my boyfriend yesterday to now reading yours. you sound like an amazing strong, grounded person who may feel isolated and lost but who will eventually be able to deal with this.